Unless you love yourself and feel good within yourself, you will always look for approval. In all kinds of relationships. You will behave a certain way to try and get your partner to like you more, but here’s a thought: You are worth being loved just being you. I wish someone had told me the following things when I struggled, so I am going to share them with you.
- Write down 5 strengths of yours. Not on your laptop or your phone. Take a paper and a pen and physically write them down. The importance of writing things down is being overlooked in today’s world – it seems revolutionary even though it has been done for thousands of years. In this blogpost, I told you that I have been journaling ever since I learned how to write, but I haven’t old you about how that impacted my life and what changed once I started using my laptop instead of a diary. Comment below if you want to be convinced to start a diary and I will write a blogpost on it!
- Write down all the situations in life you have successfully mastered. Think back to the specific moments and how you surpassed them. When you have written all of them down and look at the paper, it’s amazing how much you have overcome. It’s amazing how strong you are. And just like you have in your past, you will overcome hurdles in the future. And you will learn and grow from them. Writing them down will not only enable you to keep a record of the past, but you will gain an immense sense of achievement.
- Change your reaction. Change your reaction to other people’s opinions on you, your actions or your appearance. When someone tells you you’re not gonna make it far in life based on how they perceive you, it is only going to become a reality if you choose to believe it. Just like the word choose insinuates, you have a choice. You have a choice to either make it ruin your day, week or the whole year even, or to use that opinion as a motivation to change that person’s perception of you and convince them of the contrary by make them see how wrong they were.
- Be your own best friend. Many people try to find that perfect partner that will complete their life and make everything better. I have friends that can’t go through life without being in a relationship. They feel like they lack something and go into relationships in order to solve this feeling, to feel whole.Be your own best friend. Be your own admirer. Before you can fully love someone else, you need to love yourself. It might sound cheesy, it might sound like something you’ve read before, but it’s the truth. Love yourself the way you want someone else to love you. It will do far more than finding a partner will, it will break down walls and transform your life.
- Mind over matter. Your mind has an immense power. Your mind can control your body and cause physical reactions. That’s exactly what happens with anxiety. Imagine having to do a presentation in front of an audience of 200 people. Unless you’re an experienced speaker or love delivering speeches, you are gonna think things like What are they gonna think about me? or Hm, I’m not sure this presentation is gonna be good, What if they pose mean questions and I don’t know the answers? When these thoughts enter your mind, imagine a stop sign. Sounds ridiculous, but do it. Visualise a big, fat, red stop sign, and ask yourself: Does this thought empower me? And answer it. Does the thought of the others potentially not wanting me in their group empower me? If the answer is no, it is simply a thought that doesn’t benefit you in the given situation. In that instance, think back to all the situations you have mastered so far (step 2), and you are just gonna have to trust yourself and believe that, just like you have in your past, you can master this one too. Most things are just in our heads, and more often than you might think, people are so concerned with themselves, they’re not even thinking about you.
These tips are based on my own experiences and have helped me overcome hard times, and I hope at least some of them help you in any way. Please feel free to share any tips you might have in the comments. I encourage you to share your experiences and bad times you have gone through. We can only learn from each other and we all have self-doubts sometimes. I really love reading and replying to comments!